Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
