Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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