he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
