I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I could fuck to npr.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
