last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
