she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
