I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
