2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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