We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
