flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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