Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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