his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
