So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize