Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Randomize
