this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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