don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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