you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
