just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
