It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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