hotel room ftw
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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