Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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