Welp...herpes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Randomize
