At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
