Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
