Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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