What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't turn off my feet"
Randomize
