you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
