which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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