i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
