Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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