it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just want to make out with him forever
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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