ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
