he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
