Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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