my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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