kristin has been a bad kristin
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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