I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
