end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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