I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
