i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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