I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
wow bdsm is so cute
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
