Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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