YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
