Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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