Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
