you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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