3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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