Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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