I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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