My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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